Dusting off my archives of the last millenium, I came across the records of my old comrade and El-Presidente-in-Exile, "Big Sexy" Ryan M (not to be confused with "Sexual Life" Catherine M). This is his story... Actually, it's one of his many stories, but back to the story...

On 19 March 1999, dissatisfied with certain elements of Australian policy, I declared my room at college a free and independent state named Crerente. I became president by default and decided to inform the authorities. First, I wrote to Alexander Downer, the Minister for Foreign Affairs:

Weeks went by. It started to look like the Commonwealth of Australia had decided upon the dangerous course of dismissing my friendly letter. It seemed that I would have to find other methods of declaring my sovereignty - after all, I was claiming only a very small area - and what's more, it's actually eight metres above the surface of Australia, and cannot really be considered airspace. As President By Default, I realised that I would need to obtain external recognition of Crerente, and was on the verge of drafting a letter to the United Nations when, on 7 April 1999, I received a parcel in the mail:

At last, the Australian Government had responded to my claim! The beginning of a new era was surely imminent - a co-axial united peacetime agreement between Australia and Crerente. Soon I too would be having Executive Discussions with various heads of state, and making tea in my mini-kitchen for them.

Mr Downer did not reply himself, but instead my declaration was considered by Mr David Mason, Executive Director of Australia's Treaties Secretariat.

Enclosed was a 116 page information kit regarding Australia's position as regards treaty-making. As indicated by Mr Mason, Crerente would not only have to offer Australia sweeteners and other benefits before they would assent to recognising the country (for example, this agreement in which Canada agrees not to complain if we sell uranium), but the country would also actually have to be recognised as a "nation State" before considering a treaty. What? I went about this the nicest way possible, and considering the dodgy bastards Australia appears to have signed agreements with in the past, you'd think they'd be glad to get something, even if only a lollipop, out of the whole deal.

It became obvious that despite Australia's so-called "good intentions", there is still only one way to get a nation to sit up and take notice (well, two, but I don't have anyone to violently overthrow). I was going to have to take the matter to a higher office. And thus my mission began...